Get It Right! :)

Assalamualaikum and hi… It definitely had been a while ago since the last update. I am currently on my semester break, which ends in about less than two weeks. I ought to really do my literature review and deal with my questionnaires but again, not tonight. I don’t know when will I really get serious doing my but I just know I have to start off pretty soon. *sigh*. Okay, take it this way Yuhana, finish your work and you’d get to have real holidays somewhere next week. Bonus? Shopping? YES! ;) Right, I already had little fun on my first day of semester break. I went to the fun fair at Riverview Inn hotel. I only wanted very much to go there when I knew there will be another reptile’s exhibition. I wanted to play with snakes again now that I actually find them to be a little cute. Lol. I was hoping to meet Bibo the lazy big lizard and YES I met him again. And he is just as adorable as I remembered. I went with few cousins and mum and usu bini. We watched movie before that. I am planning...

Assalamualaikum everyone. I was thinking to update my blog last night but I was freaking tired from cleaning up my room. I was done with the cleaning thingy only after 3 ish? Last minute thingy. ;) Alright, I'm gonna do this briefly. ;) Sunday, 28th August 2011 Ida, her brother and I slept over at Farah's cribs at KB on last Saturday. We had our sungkai at Indah Damai Cafe. Really the buffet in KB is really cheap. Like our buffet that day was only $7.90 and the food was not bad either. After sungkai we went strolling around KB. It was nice, never truly got the chance to go around KB. mcm cruising in outside country ada jua rasa ny. lol. i bought a bag. hihi. the one that i kirim arah Farah since early this year kali. i bought mcm hers but mine is dark blue. lawa.and it is quite cheap. :D i felt like spending masa tu but have to control since the next day was going to Miri. so yeah~ Going to Miri was surprisingly not so sasak as we expected. i think that was due to the kurn...

Assalamualaikum and Hi all!Third school term holidays started yesterday and we government workers had two days off. It was the anniversary of Revelation of the Quran yesterday :) I planned to talk a lot but then I somehow feel hot so yeah~let's see how this goes. lol Thursday, 18th August 2011: School holidays started. Went to Bandar with Zar and Elza. Me and Zar went for hairsteaming at Polyme salon. We actually planned to go on Friday but then she had a gathering today so yeah we went yesterday instead. We tagged Elza along since we were to watch Movie. Vivi could not make it since she was going to Miri with her family. She invited me and Addie to join them and yes initially it was possible for me to join but then when I submitted my borang keluar negeri, it was returned back to me with a piece of paper telling what occasions/events that do not allow government workers to go outside Brunei. so yeah... but then the weird thing is some other government workers could go out. they...

Salam... it's the fifth day of Ramdhan today. I actually prefer to do a nice and pleasant post for Ramadhan. The thing is I don't feel that good actually today. I had a dream last night. It was kind of a fear. a fear i don't think I can bear any time sooner. I woke up to find tears on my eyes. And yes I do not feel good and I tried to be okay. While driving, I just felt like today won't be such a great day. making things even 'good'...sigh... i can't even say it. to say things, to express things just not gonna do me any good. I am always wrong... i have no right or place to be the right one...

I'm not gonna talk much I think. Just a little bit. hehe i just want to do this at this very moment before the feeling of talking fades away/ Lol. Since I am kinda tired, do forgive me for the grammatical errors that i am surely gonna include while doing this. Nyeh. Alright, I shall begin with... well, I am gonna start talking about what a party spoiler i am. A party spoiler indeed. see i had this brilliant idea as how to celebrate Nadz'z coming birthday on this Friday. I was about to feel the slightest good about myself that i actually came up with such idea. Right. The plan was sort of brilliant. the not brilliant one is me. ME and MY EXPRESSION. ME and MY POOR POKER FACE skill. I kinda feel annoyed with myself. Really C3s, I am truly sorryyyy =( Secondly, I was determined to quit my part time teaching job. like i was even looking forward to not to have to prepare teaching materials starting next month. i was confident that he would let me go. well, last time when he hear...

Salam.. i do not know as where to begin... simply said a friend lost a family member last Thursday. and somehow it affects us.. it affects me. It was unexpected. True we do not truly know her but still it was a lost.  I was surprised by a text from Nabilah when I was about getting to bed, saying that Farah's brother was involved in accident and his girlfriend passed away. It was a shock. I met the girl and I met the brother few times and we heard about the two of them from Farah. While reading the text it occurred to me that it hasn't been a year that Bunga's sister passed away. she too died from an accident. I feel sorry for the family. I feel sorry for Farah's brother. I keep on thinking that he would surely blame himself. I did not cry, I did not. I did feel shock and sorry but I did not shed any tears. Not until today. When Farah cried, we did not what to say. i was lost for word. i was afraid to approach her. i was afraid i would take the wrong move approaching h...

I know it is almost mid of July, but still hello July~ Lol ^^ I just wanna update my blog, I seem not to have time to update my blog and kinda miss those times when I had nothing important to do and i felt darn bored that i updated my blog frequently. Tehee. I have tumblr too btw. so yeah, it took me quite a while whether to update my blog or my tumblr and since i only had one post for last month so yeah,, here I am..^^ Life is kinda hectic these days, well hectic in good way. pretty much occupied with research project, practical and clinical. and less lectures. nyeh somehow i miss having lots and lots of lectures in the lecture room. Practical and clinical wise are not that bad. they are good, a lil bit tiring though. again, tiring in a good way. at least i'm tired yet it is productive. ^^ There are few few things that for me worth to be highlighted here but then I don't feel like telling things in detail. I will just say random random things. lol hehe First, i think...

1. It may not be real. 2. Gushy gushy feelings are involved. 3. I'm not sure. 4. The more i look into it, i found myself silly. 5. Grumpy.

i believe music and watching some dance thingy would cheer me up. improve my mood. i was getting some emotion boost up before typing this and somehow gave up. i slept in my room last night, like after a month plus not sleeping there? and i am not sure whether i had any dream with him in it. lol yet i did dream of daniel. the only  network 21 i seem to be okay with. he is a bit okay. daniel is friendly and i did sincerely laugh at his jokes. well i can't be sure that he was having the mutual respect for me back then. lol. anyhow in my dream he was saying to me that Z was being silly and stubborn and he did not have anything to do with the break up thingy. lol. as if. i know somehow people like daniel is not to be trusted but he was nice to me after all. i know. gullible much. i know what happened to me was not the worst of all. there are whole bunch of other people who had it worst than me. and yes i am grateful. but then it doesn't really change the fact that i was hurt. for ...

It's plus minus a week before May ends? hehe, well, another month ends and another yet to begin. i was having a conversation with mum when i got back from teaching earlier. indeed, i used to do that a lot back then. especially before i made that particular guy become my center of universe. i feel kind of well, you can say ashamed that i made him my very priority back then. i let him affect my mood, my habit, my pattern and bla bla bla. seriously,  i locked myself a lot in my room back then because i only wanted to sleeeepppp and not to think how he made me miserable. Lol. okay look, he is not a bad guy i suppose, it's just.. i don't know. hopefully he won't treat the next girl the way he treated me, takes her for granted the way he did to me. Ohh crap, enough about that particular dearest. lol. anyway, i was saying about me and my mum talking earlier. hehe. well, i was telling her how i once kind of dislike a person and suddenly now that person somehow becomes one of ...

As salam, i'm currently listening to one of the Marry me Mary's OST, take care, my bus.. it is well... not an excellent song, it is good though and i kind of like it. hehs. random statement =) Alright i just wanna post something here, don't want to neglect it the way i did with the former one. Nyehs. I know it may get kind of boring now that i keep on saying this, but i am so far doing kind of good. i mean being single again somehow feels much better. no tears, no worries, no heartaches. lol. i do cheerish the good memories we had, the romance, the so called love we once upon a time had but still, "if love hurts, it just won't work". sometimes i feel like he was just a character from my prolonged dream. lol. =) I do not know whether it is for real or it is just my defensive mean but i kind of laugh a lot these days. tehee. especially with my C3 family. i just love you guys. hehe. Tomorrow night i'm going out with the three beloved ladies, Zar, Vivi a...

I know it is over and alhamdullilah i do not actually cry these days. I somehow can't.. But then i hate to admit, i haven't moved on 100%. Though i somehow pretend that he never existed, i just can't help remembering the times we had together. The moments that we had. And it makes me question things like 'why?'. I know judging on how he treated me, it shows he was never truly in love with me but really.. I think he did yet.. *sigh. See,this is what i was talking bout.. I think back and i can't actually come up with good summary or conclusion. He's not treating me well,yes, i'm more than aware of that but then i do not think he is a bad person. He isn't.. And well,am i right? Or i was blinded. *sigh. I hate him for the cheap way he betrayed me. For the way he 'gladly' talk bad things to my usu, for the way he mistreated me.. But still, i loved him. And i seriously thought he was the one. That was why i put up with him. Thinking that was just d...

the title is very much dramatic yet it is indeed inspiring right? hehe. Lol ness. Alright, good good things so far.. well, we finished our external exam on Thursday and the result was announced earlier. Alhamdullilah I got an A for my written and B for my clinical assessment. I could not expect more :D And somehow i am bit satisfied with myself that though the break up thingy happened just a week before my exam and i seriously thought i would not make it back then, i eventually managed to get good grades. Alhamdullilah and somehow now i see the break up thingy was indeed for GOOOD. And yes now i am saying i am not regretting to lose him. not now that i knew bits of the things he said to my usu. seriously i would never have thought any guy would be that... well such a coward and 'cheap' to say those things to my usu. i totally totally felt betrayed when i found that out and when i know some more stuffs he said i just can't help to think that he is such a loser. seriously d...

i miss you and i wish i can terminate you completely from my mind. i miss you and think of you though i know well you do not feel or do the same way i do. *sigh alright, i'll be okay. i will insya Allah

We had our written exam with Miss Mabel Slatter this morning and alhamdullilah it was sort of okay. i just hope to get good marks for it. i hope all of us do well in that paper, amiin :D I texted my mum earlier asking her to wish me luck and pray for me. hehe and for the first time ever i didn't get answer like 'if belajar andang sanang'. hehe. that was touching indeed. and my usu told me to focus on my exam and nothing else and well, i don't know. i am quite touched :') i feel like a lost kid finding her way home again. i hope i am indeed finding way back home for real this time. slowly i will :) insya Allah:) Now i just have to focus on my viva exam. and coming monday would be my first time doing RP and yeah i kind of feel worried that i am not getting good practices on root planning. oh well, be positive and insya Allah i, we all, can do it :D next two weeks we'll be seeing much of Ms Mabel and that is kind of fun. she's cute and adorable. not quite...

Tomorrow we are going to have a big exam. external written exam and i don't know. time flies quite fast. tehee. it feels like yesterday i was dreading for the exams. and here i am, here we are are. less than 24 hours to go for the exam. may all of us do well tomorrow. Amiin :) And it is a full week of me being without him. and alhamdullilah im doing good and better. all those good times are the only thing that is holding me back yet somehow i know i am indeed accepting the fact that we are no longer together. it didn't end pretty properly yet hey no regrets. i haven't  truly found out what are the things that he said or manner he show to my uncle that it is now forbidden to see each other. i might get pretty mad or upset once i found out and right now i should not worry about it. exam. and please ya Allah may it not be that tough to move on. Amiin :) if it is not meant to be then it is not. been living in denial for quite a while and yes, move on Yuhana, slowly and sinc...

it finally ends. i have been searching for words to say and i kept on pressing 'backspace' for quite a while. i'm still digesting the whole things. i'm sad. yet i know i gotta be strong. i'll break down as i move on. that is no question.i still love him, that is not a question too but if he insisted to treat me in such ways, why would i stay. i am just a bug for him. a distraction. i just really cannot see the sense in making such a deal with me. i'm mad. yes, it would have been easier to be mad instead of upset if only i do not love him. Ya Allah, please give me the strength to move on. 'time and family and friends would help in healing such a wound' :') thanks to fam n C3 :')

I was reading articles on fluoride and randomly went through my album in fb and i came across with Dad's very last picture and... i feell kind of... weird... to be precise i can't truly decide what i feel. i feel sad... not sad in way it feels like my heart is being stabbed... i just feel like.. getting up? i mean how could i forget the pain of losing this man, nothing could hurt more than losing him right? and how could i let anyone other than him makes me feel as if it is the end if the world whenever things come up. how could i be so silly? I'm not saying life would have been truly better if he is still around. honestly, it would have been truly different and frankly speaking i might have not prefer it but still... sigh, i don't know what am i trying to say here.. Just always remember Yuh, nothing should hurt you more than losing this man, nothing. and no one should be the biggest reason to feel as if it is the end of the world. do not make the same scenario twic...

I an indeed creating a new blog again. seriously i got depressed with my former blog. hehs. lols.I mean it no longer gives me that calm and satisfying sensation after blogging.  And i really hope with this new one, it will indeed be some sort of 'New Direction'? Haha. Yeah, new direction to positiveness. I am not saying totally going to the positive manners and behaviour and everything. As long as i feeellll happy after blogging. Just the way I used to feel once upon a time. HEHE. Okay, rule number one, NO REMINISCING. That is totally pointless.  :D I'm using simple template this time. I do not want to bother to find fancy fancy one. as long as it is nice to look at and give me that good feelings. Tehee. Anyhow, my class yesterday was seriously hilarious. I just simply love my class. They certainly cheer me up :D How can I not laugh when they did open and honest  mistakes? These are some of the things that they included in their composition: "We got s...