Get It Right! :)

i believe music and watching some dance thingy would cheer me up. improve my mood. i was getting some emotion boost up before typing this and somehow gave up. i slept in my room last night, like after a month plus not sleeping there? and i am not sure whether i had any dream with him in it. lol yet i did dream of daniel. the only  network 21 i seem to be okay with. he is a bit okay. daniel is friendly and i did sincerely laugh at his jokes. well i can't be sure that he was having the mutual respect for me back then. lol. anyhow in my dream he was saying to me that Z was being silly and stubborn and he did not have anything to do with the break up thingy. lol. as if. i know somehow people like daniel is not to be trusted but he was nice to me after all. i know. gullible much. i know what happened to me was not the worst of all. there are whole bunch of other people who had it worst than me. and yes i am grateful. but then it doesn't really change the fact that i was hurt. for ...

It's plus minus a week before May ends? hehe, well, another month ends and another yet to begin. i was having a conversation with mum when i got back from teaching earlier. indeed, i used to do that a lot back then. especially before i made that particular guy become my center of universe. i feel kind of well, you can say ashamed that i made him my very priority back then. i let him affect my mood, my habit, my pattern and bla bla bla. seriously,  i locked myself a lot in my room back then because i only wanted to sleeeepppp and not to think how he made me miserable. Lol. okay look, he is not a bad guy i suppose, it's just.. i don't know. hopefully he won't treat the next girl the way he treated me, takes her for granted the way he did to me. Ohh crap, enough about that particular dearest. lol. anyway, i was saying about me and my mum talking earlier. hehe. well, i was telling her how i once kind of dislike a person and suddenly now that person somehow becomes one of ...

As salam, i'm currently listening to one of the Marry me Mary's OST, take care, my bus.. it is well... not an excellent song, it is good though and i kind of like it. hehs. random statement =) Alright i just wanna post something here, don't want to neglect it the way i did with the former one. Nyehs. I know it may get kind of boring now that i keep on saying this, but i am so far doing kind of good. i mean being single again somehow feels much better. no tears, no worries, no heartaches. lol. i do cheerish the good memories we had, the romance, the so called love we once upon a time had but still, "if love hurts, it just won't work". sometimes i feel like he was just a character from my prolonged dream. lol. =) I do not know whether it is for real or it is just my defensive mean but i kind of laugh a lot these days. tehee. especially with my C3 family. i just love you guys. hehe. Tomorrow night i'm going out with the three beloved ladies, Zar, Vivi a...

I know it is over and alhamdullilah i do not actually cry these days. I somehow can't.. But then i hate to admit, i haven't moved on 100%. Though i somehow pretend that he never existed, i just can't help remembering the times we had together. The moments that we had. And it makes me question things like 'why?'. I know judging on how he treated me, it shows he was never truly in love with me but really.. I think he did yet.. *sigh. See,this is what i was talking bout.. I think back and i can't actually come up with good summary or conclusion. He's not treating me well,yes, i'm more than aware of that but then i do not think he is a bad person. He isn't.. And well,am i right? Or i was blinded. *sigh. I hate him for the cheap way he betrayed me. For the way he 'gladly' talk bad things to my usu, for the way he mistreated me.. But still, i loved him. And i seriously thought he was the one. That was why i put up with him. Thinking that was just d...