Book of 2023 is coming to an end

 Assalamualaikum, I have been wanting to do this the last few days but again as usual, I have mind block. There are things that bother my mind. I guess what is going on with Gaza at the moment affects my mental health too. 

I do not want to talk further about it.The world sees the war crime Israel has committed. It is not war, it is genocide. Yet those with power in the world either join in the unforgiveable sin or keeps silence. I am sorry my Musiim sisters, brothers in Gaza. It pains me to see your loss and suffering. I have no power to stop the genocide. I could only share, talk about what is going on in Gaza. I could only worry for you, I could only mourn with you, for the loss on the innocent lives. 

When I see those cruel, barbaric and merciless treatment given to you , I got enraged.. then I got frustrated when there is nothing done to help the situation in Gaza. Only Yemen is brave, bold enough to lean hands. With this enragement, frustrations i feel, I also have this thought " This is written in Quran". I never read the whole translation of Al Quran and I regret it now. If only I did, I would have perhaps become a better muslimah. Indeed hidayah milik Allah. 

i do not know how to deliver my whole thoughts into words these days. It feels like I am writing a mixture of my thoughts. People might not uderstand what I want to say exactly...

Here are few thoughts, whatever misfortunes i have, obstacles I face, they are nothing compared to what People in Gaza are going through.  Dunia is temporary, judgement day is nearing. so i am trying to teach myself, any sadness i feel, i should not get them crawl into me..at times i still fail like for example now, i try to deafen my ears from letting those lakap lagur sikit made by husband bekerja downstairs.. sigh.. now my sentiment and thoughts are going to different direction.. i told you my emotions, thoughts are all mixed up with what is going on in Gaza and my personal issues. I would stop for a while now, I need to be at real peace to do this... i have lots to say, i have lots of thoughts, inner battles and I do not know where to start. 

I will just dedicate this first part of my December 2023 post to people in Gaza. I cannot say 'be strong' to you. The strength Allah has given to you is a strength the world shall never find anywhere, not in the most powerful countries. Allah has granted you the sabr ad tawakal that not everyone could have mastered. I pray the merciless and cruel genocide would stop. My love, my prayer are with you. May Allah grant me jannah the way he has granted the matyrs.

Free Palestine. 

Till my next post, insha Allah later <3