Energy.

 Hi, Assalamualaikum, it is already the second month of 2024. And yes I had another unpleasant treatment from my husband. This time he went over board again, saying harsh thing to me, and feeling NIL guilt about it. 

I think my feelings are drifting away. I mean I would be abnormal not to feel so right? Even the kindest heart has its own limit. I am mentally planning the possibility of life without him in the picture. I don't know. He has no remorse and the toxic treatment seems to be quite frequent lately. 

I do not want to talk a lot about him. 

What I want talk about is Joseph. 

I met him online, I still remember when he said Hi to me on the site, I somehow felt quite comfortable with him. I was being lousy at the time and  I was alone at CDC

We did not text a lot initially. But we started to slowly chat for almost everyday. Harry Potter plays a bit of role, he knows Harry Potter, uses Harry Potter related as his pick up lines. I did not see it was coming but I ended up feeling something more for him, not just a mere distraction from reality of my life. 

He suddenly stopped talking to me, even went to the extent blocking me on Google Chat. Yes I did wonder what did I do wrong, or what went wrong.  We were doing okay the last time we talked. I am not mad at him, no I know it is almost impossible for the two of us. I just hope he did at least feel the same as I did. I was being myself with him, I did not even remember if my husband did manage to make me laugh the he did. It was...it felt... so natural with Joseph. I miss him. I do... I should have felt rejected when I found out he blocked me on Google Chat out of sudden but truthfully there is a tiny hope in me wanting him to come back. 

Thank you Joseph, you have filled my life with more bright colors for the past few weeks, I smiled more thanks to you. I just wished we had met under different circumstances.  I just wish we had at least a shot. That similar energy, I dont get it most times. I miss talking to you. I just do. I sincerely hope you will be well, and I hope I can totally forget about you someday. You are one of the exciting chapters I have in my life. You did make me feel a lot good. <3

I hope you are well 

xoxo 


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